\"Assasinate Permenant Wounds!\"

\"Ow... That...really hurt\"

Submitted By: Dustin

On Sunday morning after the big Absinthium battle a Scyllan Hoar approaches the Armorsmith ward. Adelphus walks over to the ward and mocks the Scyllan Hoar. Questar, Seti, and Kaylor watch the Truell scholar in silence. Adelphus turns to them and says \"I\'m a big man when I\'m behind a ward!\"

Submitted By: Trey

Raven (looking down to the ground): Look Tyr...something does live in the ghostwind. (Plucks flower from the ground)
Tyr (looking curious): I always thought things were supposed to be dead?
Tyr (swats flower out of Ravens hand and begins smiting it with axe) NOW ITS DEAD!!!

Submitted By: jon canada

"Mr. Leander, please pick up the white curtosy phone. Mr. Leander, please pick up the white curtosy phone."

-Deb, looking for Pontus on Saturday night.

Submitted By: Deb

A conversation in the Wraith Cabin

TJ: Hey Jon, can I borrow your glitter?
Jon: Sure, only if I can borrow your lipstick though.
TJ: Yea, ok.

::Looooong pause::

Jon: I can't believe we just had that conversation.

Submitted By: Jonathan

Exiting the Not-So-Funhouse:
Raven: That was weird!
Khaulus: What's that?
Raven: A ghizat outwitting a scholar.


Submitted By: jon canada

At the Skelton encampment, Barrik, Lord Mal'eth and a random skeleton played by Matt Pridmore

-Mal'eth-I have never met Lassiter is there anything you can tell me about him?
-Barrik-Let's see...well first off he has this strange book fetish.
-Mal'eth-Book Fetish...Sick &%^@#!
-Random Skelton (starts making pelvic trusts) papper cuts, papper cuts, papper cuts, papper cuts...

Submitted By: Bear

Standing on the tavern porch OOP, Bear watches as the town rushes by with the Master's coffin in tow.

Bear:It's not an Everhate event till you see people having to move a coffin!

*snickers errupt all around*

Submitted By: Jess

Scorne wakes up in the DragonStar cabin.
Giddeon quietly to those with him in the other room: "Is it b&*$^y spider time already?"
Pontus as Scorne: "YES! It is B*&^$y spider time!"

Submitted By: Chess

Winter, almost out of spells during the Darkstar battle...

"I got enough to do some damage and to get three undead back up. After that all I will be good for is quoting Elven poetry".

Submitted By: Deb

Five people were playing 4-foot tall delver children on Sunday morning of the last event and decided to bother the Blade cabin. After getting little response from running amuck and rattling the doors, the five decide to leave the porch only to hear from inside "Ward down!"
Delver one (played by Dennis) peeks inside the door to see a half-awake Magnus looking up from the bed.
Magnus: "Oh, I wish I could take that back."
as the rest of the delver crew rushes into the cabin.

Submitted By: Tracy =)

Upon walking with a group consisting of The Tears, The Wraiths, and a few others, a monster along the trail is approached.

Someone calls out: "What do I see?"

In response from the monster: "6 ft tall insect, bug, beetle-like creature type humanoid...uhh yeah."

The group responds with great laughter.

Submitted By: Steph R

Shaharazad while playing with Barrick's hair: Why is it all the skeletons have hair.

Tannis: Hair Club for Necromancy.

Submitted By: Chesser

Comments and quotes from the Dragonstar crypt..

Imposing Warlord Ranger Ebon - "Dood, groovie."

"What? My hands are above the waistline."

"Tonights entertainment brought to you by the letters 'R' and 'R'."

"Why is he so heavy, he is just bones!"

"I think we went too far. That looks like someone's house." (carrying a coffin thru the woods)

Ebon - We just have to go back to where Kal is.
Everyone else - umm.. I cannot see Kal.

"What is that thing?" Pointing to coffin in the cabin.
Kal - "We needed a hidabed.."

Discussing one of the more powerful NPC's.
"That man has NO sense of humor."

"I love being the bigger predator."

Submitted By: Tracy B

*knock on the dragonstar crypt*
Baltana: Who is it
Dorian Stride : Stride
*Door is opened*
Stride: Is ebon here
Kal (who is laying next to ebon napping): What do you need to tell him
Stride: We have obtained the griffin, I wanted him to know since his life is also on the line
Kal: Alright I will tell him when I see him
Stride turns to go
An OOP Billy walks up.. "hey is marion here? Here's his leatherman"
Shana "Yeah.. hes right here"
room erupts into giggles.

Submitted By: Tracy B

While a group of Rangers and rogues were moving an actual coffin thru the woods across a ravine.

"this stupidity brought to you by the letter R"

Submitted By: Tracy B

Sunday afternoon, Rodhry, Griselda, and Kal-Eras are walking to town.

Griselda: Thanks for letting me barrow your sword last night, Kal'Eras.
Rodhry: Yes, we need to work on getting you one of those.
Griselda: Well, it costs 32.6 gold to get my short sword silvered, master crafted, and indistructable. Right now I have about 25 gold.
Rodhry interupts: Wait, how are you getting all this money? You haven't been here that long.
Griselda: Well, Kat gave me 3 gold, I worked the feast, and I search all the monsters we kill in battles.
Rodhry: Where do you put the money during the battles?
Griselda: In my corset. You didn't hear me jingle down the path last gather?
Rodhry looks at Griselda and points: See, it's all because of your Charm and Personality.
Griselda looks down: You've just been named, girls.

Submitted By: Ansley

Vanya, the newest Blade, meets Samsara...

Samsara: "Hello..*suddenly startled by the look of Vanya's "busty appearance"..oh, Madam..you have two "babies on board"..oh dear.." *walks off to avoid Vanya*

Vanya, grinning evilly: "That's why they're called "distractors"."

Submitted By: Deb

(Five delvers plot an invasion of town)

Delver one: Okay, here plan...

Delver two: Oh, so this make you leader?

Delver one: Er.... yeah.

Delver three: Leader go down first!

Delver one: No, no, other delvers give lives for leader!

*Chorus of "no"*

Delver two: Leader go down with ship!

Delver one: ....

Delver one: Okay, so here plan...

Submitted By: Sooz

Everybody's favorite poem, byt Cur'zon the Wraith:

I like wraiths
We don't strife
I like wraiths
We drain life!

Submitted By: Kristi

At the very end of the final day of the July event many townspeople are sitting on the porch of the tavern to avoid the heat of the sun. Due to heat exhaustion and sleep depravation some loopy casters propose a flame bolt throwing contest. Kaylor the mummy quickly objects.

Kaylor :If you are going to do that, get off the porch. You're not setting me on fire!

Ghihala :This is coming from the mummy with the cigarette in his mouth. Shut-up and go back to your cigarette.

Submitted By: Lauren Ouellette

*Lord Vashan, Drake, Kargoth and Aghlianna are walking back into town after a meeting*
Agh: *walking past the plastic skeleton laying on ground for decore* touching the plastic skeleton: "necro arts? hmmmmm Laying on hands 1 laying on hands 2 Laying on hands 3" *plastic skelton still yet to move*

Kargoth: "agh what are u doing?"
Agh: *begins CPR on plastic skeleton*
Drake: *walking up to kargoth* "kargoth whats wrong with agh?"
*kargoth and Drake finally realize what is going on*
Kargoth and Drake in unisom: "Lord Vashan! I think we have us a situation here!"
Agh: *when Lord vashan walks over* "he wont get up Lord vashan can u fix him?"
Lord vashan: *looking at gah then to drake then to kargoth and then back to agh* "20 magic! 20 magic! 20 magic! 20 magic!" *on agh*

Submitted By: Ashley Hill

As the Everhate invasion force moves thru Scylla, Winter is left in the rear with most of the newly-risen. She can't get any good shots in the mass of fighters dropping the Darkstars, so she limits herself to necro-arts, first aid and a shash of cause light potions to get the necrite fighters and a few undead back up.

Thirty minutes later there is a break in the fighting, and a lone necrite fighter approaches her on bended knee.

Fighter: "Fixer, some healing please?"
Winter, mildly exhasperated but amused: "Sir, I'm not a Fixer...just an Elementalist with some useful talents."

Submitted By: Deb

After being told that Winter is a member of an elven house, Barik reacts...

Barik: "What? My mate's an elf?! I'm a perv!! I'm &$@*ing my food!!!"

A hour later, the brooding tiger saar corners his unrepentant mate and gets the truth out of her. Barik glowers at Winter.

Barik: "Okay, but if you start acting all haughty and stuck-up, I'm going to eat you."
Winter smiles evilly.
Barik corrects her: "Not THAT way dear..."

Submitted By: Deb

March 2001: Everhate sponsors its first formal feast, this time to celebrate the very last of the food before it runs out. An unfortunate coincidence, the game sponsors a lottery with feast tickets. Necrites around the feast all nervously fidget, wondering exactly what this supposed "lottery" portends at the brink of general starvation.

Patience streched to wits' end and therefore silliness, Scarlet leans over to Constance and begins a terrible rumor:

"Soylent Green...it's necrites!"

Submitted By: Trace o'Connor-Mary

Lord Gabriel is talking with the Revenant family Saturday night.....
Lord Gabriel: "It's hotter than two squirrels f@*#ing in a sock in here!!"
Faramore turns on his heel and immediatly leaves the brothel while Sharazad, Jezebelle, and Winter die laughing on the floor.
Lord Gabriel: "I didn't mean to break my Prime..."

Submitted By: Tracy M

One cold night in Everhate, a while ago..

*Winter coughs*

Shar, smiling - "What, hairball Dear?"

*Winter blushes*

Submitted By: Deb

Winter tries to distract Kargoth in the Brothel by challenging the ghoul Prime to a drinking contest. Three glasses of Dwarven whiskey later, the necrite is roaring drunk and the undead is perfectly fine.

Winter, talking to Lord Vashaun: "Ello', I lost!"

The Skeletal Lord replies, smiling: "I told you. Why are you surprised?"

Winter, giggling: "I know...I lost anyway."

Submitted By: Deb

Newbie Liz [tranced, to other tranced]: How do you get rid of a trance?
Other tranced: Shake for ten seconds.
Liz: Oh, that's all? [shakes herself violently]
Other tranced: No, someone ELSE has to shake you.

Submitted By: Liz

"More thinking. More hamster. More International blend coffee."
- Trace o'Connor, describing the machinations of Scarlet and Constance.

Submitted By: Jennifer Hartshorn

Vampire Lord and some necrites are all standing around talking. Brian Dow wearing a green and white tabard with a white face and red bleeding eyes walks by "scaring" necrites.

The Vampire Lord watches him walk by and calmy says, "Ghosts and spooks are out tonight."

Submitted By: Jacque (Shiva)

Nimbus, having a bad day after Marble's death:
"I'm wet! I fell in a puddle. My boots are wet! My scarf is wet! And it's HEAVY!"
Kal, rubbing her ears: "Uh, Nimbus, isn't there a reason why Banshees aren't supposed to yell?"
Nimbus: "Sorry...."

Submitted By: Haze

Ghihala has just come back from a party with Lady Constance, Scarlet, and the vast majority of the vampires.

Ghihala: "I feel so honored but I've gotta admit, I don't understand fully why an undead Lord/Lady would be getting drunk with a simple necrite like me."

Rhodry: "Well what were you drinking?"

Ghihala: "Absynth"

Rhodry: "Oh, well that explains it."

Ghihala gives him a confused look.

Rhodry: "Absynth makes the heart grow fonder."

Submitted By: Becca

...Shaharazad trying to get the big pigs attention on the porch of the brothel...
Here pig pig pig!!!!!
C'mere pig!!!"

Submitted By: Tracy M.

Baltana, to Gray the Banshee, after an incident with a Wail of Death gone wrong: "And what did we learn from this?"
Gray: "Never Doom a beholder ... once."

Submitted By: Haze

Talis: "If you kill a drae, is it a hate crime?"

Khaulus: "Only if you're an elf. Otherwise, it's just justifiable squeakycide."

Submitted By: Dave

*Shiva and Skull are standing over the newly resurrected Spine, after the war against the Darkstar Army.*

Spine, confused: "What happened?"
Shiva: "We won."
Spine: "We did?"
Skull: "Yes, Brother. The plan worked, Chrisabell is freed. Magnus killed Kroad with a Destroy Undead spell to the chest and retrieved the lantern."
Spine, shaking his head: "If we won and the plan worked what am I doing here?"
Skull: "Because it was a stupid ****ing plan, Brother."

Submitted By: Bear

A Sarr, passing a group of male vampires: "Don't they know that there are much more interesting organs on a woman than the neck?"

Submitted By: Blayke aka Salvatore

Nathan, refering to Faramore: "Chivalry is not dead ... it's undead."

Submitted By: Deb

Pontus/Darkstar: "You have been abandoned by those you fight for. It's your choice. Convert or Die ..."

Winter, taking Melisande's short sword from her belt: "I am of the Revenant Family. There is only one choice ..." *Points the blade at her torso. Killing blow one, killing blow two, killing blow three. Winter's body falls to the ground.*

Pontus/Darkstar: "Er, she made her choice ..."

Submitted By: Deb

*Kal'Eras is watching Kal eat some dried meat.*

Kal, offering him some when she notices that he is watching her: "Want some elf?"

Submitted By: Baltana

Someone discussing the Broken Blade attending a formal dinner: "They can use any bladed weapon created, but give them a utensil and they don't know what to do. We served shrimp; you know, we had those tiny shrimp forks?" *Laughs politely* "Of course, there was a ghoul there ... He just ate the fork and that solved that problem."

Submitted By: Haze

*Haze, a banshee, and Feer, a Ghizat, walk into the Sanctuary looking for Sithe.*
Steve O.: "Hey guys ... As you enter, your characters see a 14-foot humanoid figure forming out of the Ghostwind."
Haze: "Aaah! Run!"
Gliff, a Ghizat, runs in through the door: "Hey guys! Close the door! There are about 7 drakes flying around out there ..."
Feer: "Haze, you may want to put that big thing back in the Ghostwind. We could be here for a while ..."

Submitted By: Haze

*The Dragonstars and Haze, the Banshee, are sitting on the Sanctuary porch on Sunday (loopy time for the Dragonstars apparently).*
Barik: "Ok, give me my axe back."
Kal: "Only if you promise not to hit us with it anymore ..."
Barik: "I promise that I won't hit any of the Dragonstars again."
*Kal hands over the axe. Haze takes a BIG step back.*

Submitted By: Haze

Skull, facing Lord Kroad's Army of Ghouls outside the Tavern: "Kill the ****er with the Lantern!"
Shaharazad: "Which one is he?"
Skull: "The ****er with horns and the Lantern!Kroad!"
Shaharazad: "Raise your hand if you are Kroad ..."
*Everyone raises their hand EXCEPT Kroad.*
Shaharazad: "Which one is he?"
Skull: "The ****er too stupid to raise his hand."
*Entire Army targets Kroad.*

Submitted By: Skull/Brian Eason

Skull, discussing the number of Zombies on hand to do construction on the ever growing Broken Blade encampment: "I have 85 Zombies and 25 Spectres. Spine just bought 60 ... So that's ..."
Scarlet: "Does that include my 30?"
Spine: "Yes ... Um ... No ..."
Kal'Eras: "So that's what? 90?"
Scarlet: "Plus Skull's 85?"
Skull: "Yes ... So that's 175?"
Scarlet: "How many do we have?"
Skull: "I dunno. Spectres don't DO math ... We're all humanities majors ..."
*Scarlet collapses to the ground, laughing.*
Skull, to Spine: "I broke the vampire ..."

Submitted By: Skull/Brian Eason

*During the great undead hunt on Halloween, Vaughn has an unknown newbie female cornered at the tavern.*
Finding her hands empty of spell packets, she exclaims: "G*d D***t! I'm out of spells!"
*She drops to her knees* "Show mercy, I beg you!"
Vaughn replies: "That was a 'cure light' ..." *Thud*

Submitted By: Vaughn

Grey, a Banshee: "Don't make me raise my voice."

Submitted By: Bear

Vaughn, playing the Revenant Lord: "I was supposed to start a warriors guild ... How the heck did I end up being a pimp?!?"

Submitted By: Aaron Phelps

A band of incredibly loopy Wretched: "Fromage! Le poisson! Oh ho ho hoo!"

Large fighter guy: "Hey! Who taught you guys to speak French?!"

Wretched: "Ummm ... BLARG!"

Fighter, raising an eyebrow: "Blarg?"

Submitted By: Sooz