Djinn the farmer is questioned about life back in his home town of clanthia.
cerronethian:"so i heard yall got attacked by a void dragon last week."
djinn:*in head*"yeah i heard that too."*out loud*"yeah it sucked motha F****r was strong."
cerronethian:"and i heard the the vampires are ransacking the town to at night and taking captives."
calanthian:*in head*"um dang this guy knows more about whats going on in calathia than i do"*out loud*"yeah it sucks."
cerronethian:"i also heard yall fought the void armys"
calanthian:*in head*"this guys a freaking spy i swear i was there and i didnt know what they were"*out loud*"yeah that sucked too"
cerronethian: "so how is life in calanthia?"
calanthian:*in head*"i should be asking you that"*out loud*"apparently it sucks"

Submitted By: chris gandee

Its the September 2006 event in cerroneth. The 4 day to be precise. Its eary in the AM on sunday morning around 7 Ish, you know the time when pretty much everyone is sleeping and the few insomniacs that know how to have fun are still up wandering like zombies.
Im standing at the smokers guild.(Adam/Drack) I look over and Chandra/Jess and one of her friends walks up. We talk for a few minutes then a random plot person walks up.
"What do we see" Just a human....
A conversation starts as it usually does asking what the human needs and such. and he says something about his friends being dead.
Without even thinking twice about it Chandra says "Yea.... If your friends dead then someone probably killed him"
I promptly fell out laughing as she slapped me and made the excuse that its to early. heh.

Submitted By: Adam Viescas

Standing outside Nevermore at around 4am with strange furred creatures inside as well as 2 vampires.

The general consensus is that we are not going to be able to get in the wards as we can’t seem to find a disrupt scroll and components.

Vampire: “Ward down!” As he prepares to throw a spell at us standing outside the cabin.

Jack/Brady: “Hold! Leap.” Jack walks over and stands in front of the vampire on the ward.

Jack/Brady: Looking over his shoulder at the group. “Jack be nimble.”

Submitted By: Andrew/Illander

Nicholai Voyani is in his cabin, just waking up on the Saturday morning of the February 2006 event, he is haveing a conversation with midien who is behind the second ward in the Nul'Vanya cabin.......during this conversation Nicholai sits up and finally opens his eyes and looks to where Midien's voice is coming from.........

and the first thing he sees is her bending over rifling through her "boxes"

***random spell packets bounces off Laura's left butt cheek***

Midien - "Hey what was that"

(OOP Matt/Nicholai) "Me throwing a spell packet at the perfect target to wake up to!!!!!"

***Laura/Midien promptly turns fire engine red and dives for the cover of her bunk, where she remains hidden for almost an hour***

Submitted By: Matthew Smith

Kita and another were monstering, and took a break at the smoker's guild by the tavern. While they were there, Baron Crash ran towards the tavern door, with something chasing him, He wasn't paying attention and ended up smaking right into the Tavern door before opening it and running in.
Kita: (To random person she was with) Well, They don't call him Baron Crash for nothing....

Submitted By: Kita

Red King Warrior: “7-Normal!”
Illander: “Wait, Wait!!” “Your commander over there said not to attack me.”
Red King Warrior: “I don’t remember hearing that?!?”
Aradan: “I call upon Chaos, Decay and Rot to poison you!”
**Packet hits Red King Warrior**
Red King Warrior: *Turning to Aradan* “Wait we were talking.”
Illander: “Correct that was an in-play conversation.” *Runs off*
Aradan: “4-Blunt, 4-Blunt, 4-Blunt…”

Submitted By: Andrew/Illander

Illander, Kalinda, Quinn, Caitri and Timmith decide to play a joke on Profession Ran.

*Professor comes out of a cabin across site holding a drink in his hand*

Illander: *Falls to ground*
Quinn: *Falls to ground*
Caitri: *Falls to ground*
Dakota: *Falls to ground*
Kalinda: “RAN HELP!!!” *Begins first aiding people*
Professor Ran: *Running across site*
Kalinda: “RAN FASTER!!” *Continues first aiding people*
Professor Ran: *Continuing to run trying not to drop his drink or loose pouches*
Professor Ran: *Leaning over Quinn* “Healing arts.”
Quinn: “Oh nothing I just felt like lying down for a moment.”
Professor Ran: “That aint funny.”
Everyone except Ran: *Laughing*
Professor Ran: “I almost dropped my drink.”

Submitted By: Andrew/Illander

Just after game-on, Friday night, During the War against the Black King, Brom the Druid is sneaking through the shadows watching a pack of about 15 Black King soldiers roaming through town. A group of about 12 townsfolk come out of a cabin and see the Black King's men, and begin to set up to jump them. Brom joins their group...

Brom- Hey guys, that might not be that good of an Idea. There's a lot of them.

Townsfolk- Nah, we can take 'em!

Brom- Wait, I've been watching this group for a while, there's a lot of "Prepare to Die" and "I grant you the gift" coming from them!

Townsfolk- Great! That means they're low! let's get 'em! YAAHHH!!!

As the townsfolk charge and Brom disappears behind another tree.

Thirty seconds later, 10 townsfolk and three Black King's soldiers are laying on the ground, and the remaining soldiers are chasing the other townsfolk into the woods.

Brom- Healing arts... I grant rest and warmth to cure light wounds, I told you. Healing arts... I call upon the earth to cure critical wounds, I told you...

Submitted By: Brom

A group of people are standing in line waiting for weapons check in at the August 2005 event. Maikel, an archer, is seated at the wooden tables with his weapons chatting with a few of the other players in character. One of them asks Maikel: "So, You pretty good with that thing?" nodding towards the bow.

"Yea, I handle myself ok with it." Maikel replies.

"Well how do you think you'd handle thirty acid?" Another person asks.

Branthanas, who's also in line, but with a white head band on, pipes up. "How do you think I'D handle thirty acid?"

"You don't count, your not here." he replied quickly.

"oh?" Branthanas says, "Well how about I spirit of the Ent out of this table and kick your a**?"

Much laughter ensues.

a.k.a. Drew

Submitted By: Maikel (Drew)

At the June 2004 event on saturday before spell reset. Gilgamesh is informing Baroness Midien of a new threat that he encountered earlier that morning.
Gilgamesh: "They appear to be lager mounds of shambling vegetation. The more damage you cause them the more the outer layers of vegetation fall off causing the mound to become smaller and smaller. Finally when I had killed the thing I found a small black chaos fairy in the center of it. They seem to be fairly tough too the first one I encountered took a lot of damage and 2 slays to take care of."

Baroness Midien: "Wow, so how many slays does it take to get to the totsie roll center of a shambling mound?"

Submitted By: Anthony/ Gilgamesh

I\'m standing there to one side of the door, Click is opposite of me, and Illander standing between us. We\'re all looking out trying to see what\'s up with this black winged reptilian thing that keeps walking around. Illander keeps making snide comments about it, confident in the protection offered by the ward. When it stops and looks straight in the door at us, Illander makes a funny face, to wich the thing sticks it\'s head THROUGH the still up ward, it\'s head between mine and Click\'s, and only an inch from Illander\'s. Illander, never taking his eyes off this beast says quietly, and simply,
...I\'m going to go change my underwear now.\"

Submitted By: Cy/Năt

Near the Healers Guild: \"Chachi, Ward Down.\"
People as they are leaving the healers guild: \"Chachie??\"

Submitted By: Andrew/Illander

*the feast event (the second event after the solar ms 1st level reset) the members of the mages guild are sitting around, some are studying spells, some sleeping, some just conversing. suddenly in comes Seth as a \"skeletal figure with glowing red eyes\".
after hearing the description, everyone backs up against the walls, except for one new player named aine. suddenly after a few moments of tense silence, aine cuts loose on it calling \" 2 blunt\". and drops the thing, to everyones surprise.


i was outside out of play when seth and jon ray as the lich and his minon walk back by.

jon ray/ minion \"theres the mages guild\"
seth/lich: \" are you crazy? they\'ll kill us.\"

Submitted By: Geo

It was the last module of the night for Saturday at CoastCon. There\'s an array of players, new and old, playing pre-made characters and having a darn good time trudging through \"the mod that never ended\".

At one point, the characters come upon a room with a couple of medusa\'s throwing stone gazes. Jeremy, playing a chaos tainted human earth caster, is turned away from the action and talking to someone when a stone gaze packet hits its mark on his back. So he plays it out.

A few minutes later, after forgetting how long he had been stone gazed, he asks, \"Amber, how long have I been stoned...wait a second, that didn\'t sound right.\"

Submitted By: Jeremy Boudreaux

At the December one day, Wilkes the elf is walking up to some random monster with his crossbow, which has been fitted to fire his throwing knives with aren't always 100% accurate, having pulled the firing mechanism the projectile speeds for the unfortunate beasts torso when with mere inches to go it veers and curves around the creature, then when fully behind him it straightens out again. Wilkes is last heard screaming "Forcefield!" as he leaves the scene at a high rate of speed.

Submitted By: Jeremy/Wilkes

During the October event Briar, Harry, and a few others are standing on the porch of the healers guild when an undead walks up to the ward.
harry:No ablo espanol.
person1: I don't think he speaks spanish.
harry: maybe. Just maybe he speaks basic. 1001101001101000111010.
Everyone on the porch bust out laughing.

Submitted By: Joseph F.

At the Halloween event, Illusien, the Guildmistress of the Healer's Guild, was sitting in the rez circle, having just finished a rez, when she hears everyone yelling that "Kashardi" was there. Curious and not realizing that he's a Death Knight, she walks to the doorway, with Kashardi standing on the left side of the porch.
She looks around and frowns, then sees a grotesque-looking Sarr. Her face pales and her eyes widen as she finishes her sentence of: "Who's this Kashar--MEEP!" and briskly walks back inside the guild without another word.

Submitted By: Valerie

Walker, Gilgamesh, Billy the Black, Captain Cullen and Yume are standing outside of the Healers Guild late one night. With nothing better to talk about, the conversation soon turns into a foray and inspection of the downsides of Billy's love relationship.

Cap't Cullen, in fake british accent: "Billy, i don't mind a good woman every now and then, but this has to stop. When the dock sways back and forth, and it isn't a floating dock, this is a SIGN Billy!"
Billy: " But Cap't! You don' unnerstand!
Cap't Cullen: "4 CHAIRS Billy, she took up 4 CHAIRS! When i can feel her as she boards the ship, and the ship lists to one side, Billy; it's a SIGN Billy!"
Billy: "But Cap't, she was my kind o' Woman!"

Submitted By: Walker

Friday night, very beginning of the gather. Most of the town is backing away from Urnkai and his very large army. Nothing has happened yet.
Taalys/Shawn says "I think we need to back up a little more before he..." Urnkai plants an Imbue-death-pierce on Taalys.
Shawn (oop)- "umm...does that...yeah...$#!%"

Submitted By: Shawn

Upon entering the tavern on a Saturday evening, the group of pirates notices the wild elf woman with a red hand print painted on her face sitting at a table next to Baron Newlyn. One rather drunkenly shouts out to his captain, "We caught her red handed sir!"

Submitted By: Jenny Brack

Nano was walking along with her human friend early on a Saturday evening, and upon looking around, sees one of her favorite creatures.. a Fairy Dragon. It sees her as well and starts making its way towards her, smiling. She is taking slow steps back, as the dragon advances on her.

Nano: You know, you're a really pretty and nice looking dragon and all, but... I know if I let you get too close to me you'll...

Fairy Dragon: I bind you in friendship to me..

The spell packet hits Nano... as she looks to him and smiles.

Nano: Do.... That....

Submitted By: Nano

late saturday night, geo/"cyan", bill/"zim" and a few other newer players were sitting outside the tavern defending against the solitary monsters that amble into town, when suddenly a skeleton walks into sight......

geo/"cyan": what do i see?
newbie skeleton: a 5 foot tall skeleton
cyan: undead?

*cyan (being a knight) promptly walks onto the feild, and uses his innate "repel undead", only to have it burst when he steps forward....


*cyan promptly chases the skeleton, who runs in fear*

Submitted By: Geo/ Cyan

Azurion is standing inside a raised Circle of Power Saturday night while Urnkai's army is slowly invading Cerroneth. A zombie walks up to the circle, runs into it, and stops, beating on the circle with its weapons. A nearby fighter, seeing the zombie occupied, comes up and beats it down as Azurion looks over to his formal teacher, Taalys.

Azurion: "Urnkai just doesn't make zombies like he used to. Either that, or the country folk are just that stupid."

Submitted By: Donald/Azurion

Sunday morning in front of the tavern, a 'Townsperson' approaches Duo, Grum, Midien, Ivy, and another player.

Townsperson: "I'm here to challenge your strongest fighter to an honor duel!!"

Grum refuses. Duo is the only fighter left in the group. Ivy points at him. He and Duo move off from the group, and Duo sets the terms as the first hit wins. They start to fight as Ivy, Grum, and the other player talk off to the side. As soon as Duo lands the first hit, Grum and the other player charge and attack the Townsperson, who attacks Duo.

Townsperson to Duo: "YOU HAVE NO HONOR!"

Grum and the other player continute to attack the Townsperson. Duo yells after the Townsperson and Grum.

Duo: "I didn't tell them to attack you!... You d*** dwarf!! If I had more than a handle, I'd KILL you with it!!"

Submitted By: Midien

Feast weekend in Cerroneth, a slug is wandering around outside the tavern somewhere and for some reason the townsfolk are having problems getting rid of it. Noting his frustration by saying "Ok, that's it, c'mere," Lars grabs a salt shaker and proceeds after the slug, which quickly scurries away.

Submitted By: Jeremy/Xytras

Late Saturday night / Sunday morning of the MS one-shot event, several townsfolk are still up and about when James Bardin comes out as a greater wraith sent to mess with them. After phasing in for several strikes against individuals before phasing out again, and taking a bit of damage, Seth, playing a gypsy, gets frustrated:

Seth: "Come out, joo cowvardly wrait'! Joo don't vant none ov me!"

James: (whispering as his wraith) "The wicked shall die!"

Seth: (surprised look) "Oh, vell, dat's me..." (starts to leave the tavern)

Submitted By: James Bardin

During a battle outside of a cabin.
Kleo "Are those orcs?"
Everyone buzy with their own conversations
Kleo "HEY...What do I see, are you orcs?"
Everyone still talking and carrying on.
Kleo, in a monotone voice "Oh dear, my breasts fell out."
Whole site looks at her.
Kelo "Thanks, are you guys orcs?"

Submitted By: Joe/MS Plot

"Gelden, don't you even think about it."
--Nat to the hobling Gelden, during the auction, when a magic bottle that makes water into quality dwarven whisky is put up for bid

Submitted By: James Bardin

(Late Saturday night into Sunday morning, Jeff is running a module for several PCs. After encountering a particular situation...)

Tony/"Gelden": About how far across is it?

Jeff/Plot: Oh, about 15 feet.

(Muttering amongst the party members as they discuss the situation.)

Tony/"Gelden": Right. (Turns to Cy/"Nat") Get out that rope, and we'll put yours and mine together.

Jeff/Plot: Oh my God. You brought rope?!

(Cy/"Nat" smiles broadly and presents 15 feet of rope, which is summarily tied to Tony/"Gelden"'s 5 feet of rope. Jeff shakes his head and mutters fiercly.)

Tony/"Gelden": Hey, everything I need to know, I learned from Tolkien. Always, ALWAYS, bring some rope.

Submitted By: James Bardin

After vanquishing with great ease several monsters of various calibers, Lars is standing at the Morlond cabin with swords in hand, and a foot on a bench. A monster wearing a grey taberd walks up with packets in hand.
Lars: "Look, I dont care what you are, RUN, RUN NOW! DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WILL DO TO YOU?????"
Monster:(throws packet "Petrify gaze"
The packet narrowly misses Lars.
Lars:(while running at full tilt) "OH $#!^ HES HERE!!"

Submitted By: Seth (Jonus)

**in the independant cabin the blue tear is gearing up**
**vetter, devine and destin walks in**
destin: we hear that you are trying to kill him *pointing to vetter*
sir morlock: no we are not, we defend not attack
*destin casts a truth spell on morlock*
Destin: you now have to answer three questions truthfully
morlock nods
destin: are you trying to kill him?
morelock: no
destin: are any of your men trying to kill him?
morlock: no
destin pauses a moment
destin: ok thats two questions, you two want to ask him something?
devine: yeah.
devine looks at morlock**
devine: are you a knight>
morlock: yes

Submitted By: Geo

Crack/Gabe "Hey, um...whut um your name?"
Joe/Mug "My name is the same as my job, Hi. I'm Mug"

Submitted By: Joe/Rasta

It is feast in Cerroneth and the citizens are enjoying being served by Victor, however Victor is enjoying the goosing and fondling that he receives every time he passes Sabrina. After running from table to table for about twenty minutes, he stands with his behind directly in front of Sabrina and declares to the room "for the rest of the night I will only be serving from here!!!"

Submitted By: Melissa

After learning that the Carpathians have served the former King as the main course at the feast, and governor Kaiser passes on the information that a town in Morland was razed as punishment,In the resultant flurry of activity from the enraged patrons of the feast: Seeker: " Well I guess this means no damn cobbler then huh?"

Submitted By: Mikalah Darkmantle

Ash/Nimeu, the 'hospitality hobling' of Nevermore: "I put the 'ho' in hospitality ..."

Submitted By: James Bardin

Shawn Rogers and Kess, as Puck lies dying after being run into an "ORNERY ELF WITH SPROUTING FACIAL HAIR" by a psycho undead geeba: "We still love you."

Submitted By: Sean (Puck)

Adara, standing in a circle with Sabrina, surrounded by chaos beastmen: "So, these are chaos beastmen. I wonder ..." *gets the attention of one them and gestures to her cleavage* "Well, at least we know they're men."

Submitted By: C.

Nimeu the Hobbling, during loopy time: "Hey babe, take a walk on the furry side, I said hey babe, talk a walk on the hobble side..."

Submitted By: Ash

Puck: "The mind is the ultimate of all holy sanctuaries. Whether mine is reachable by my own thoughts, the world may never know!"

Submitted By: Puck

*Bloodguard arrives to roll the Order of the Storm's cabin. They bust the ward and open the door to find nothing but darkness.*
Bloodguard/Patrick: "I think they're all asleep."
*He pushes the door all the way open to find Mandis standing before him in mistform with Druseus looking over his shoulder, sword in hand.*
Bloodguard/Stu, turning to his companion in a conversational tone: "We're ****ed."
*Mandis smiles.*

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Cerronethian, on the porch: "Oh s**t! That Darkholme guy, Omen, is getting jumped by six orcs!"
Clanthian, popping his head up to see before snickering and getting back to his drink: "Uh, NO. That's six Orcs getting jumped by Omen."

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Mandis, in the charred remains of the Grove, minutes after it was destroyed by the Mad Druid: "Everyone chill ... Remember, this is a happy place."

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Kovar: "Perpare to die..slay! Prepare to die..slay! Prepare to die..slay!"
Monster: "Woah, dude..what were you calling?"
Kovar, in a no nonsense tone: "Slays ..."
Monster: "Thats me dude ..."

Submitted By: Quotemaven

*Druseus is fighting beastmen. After killing one, the remaining one turns to flee.*
Druseus, chasing after the fleeing beastman: "Come back here! Come get some! You want some of this? **** you! AAAAAAGH! AAAAAH!"
*Druseus catches and kills the beastman, then returns to the armorsmith's guild.*
Druseus: "Heh ... Beastmen are scared of me."
Lord Tirian: "Druseus, sometimes -I- am scared of you."

Submitted By: Quotemaven

By-tor: "Kill him!!"
Knight of the Rose: "Prince By-tor, that's murder ... I think that's against the law."
By-tor: "Oh yeah ... you're right."
By-tor: "I'll pardon myself ... Kill him!"

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Ash, after the Order of the Storm and Foster Arkham got doppleganged: "Well, we knew something was up when I asked Foster how the trip went and he said 'Fine. Everything was just fine.'"
Foster, annoyed: "Now wait a minute. Why is that so unusual?"
Druseus: "First of all, Foster ... NOTHING is ever fine with you. And it's never just 'Everything sucks', either. It's always, 'Everything sucks, let me tell you how...'"

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Draconian: "I command you to fear me!" *throws packet and hits Thack the Ogre in the back*
Thack, running from the battle: "I'm way ahead of you on that!"

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Amalthea, putting down a Carpathian that tried to end run the mob during a field battle: "I envelop you in mists of sleep!!!" *throws packet and hits Carpathian in the chest* "Lay DOWN, mutha****er!"

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Mandis: "Run! RUN! They animated the Rose Knights!"
Sallah: "But Sir Lars said he'd kill us if we ran ..."

Submitted By: Quotemaven

Cerronethian #1, during "Undead 101": "Okay, so what about zombies?"
Kovar and Lars, looking at each other: "ASS!"
Cerronethian #2: "Skeletons?"
Kovar and Lars: "ASS!"
Cerronethian #3: "Wights?"
Kovar and Lars: "ASS!"
Cerronethian #1: "What about liches?"
Kovar, pausing to think: "Okay, those you need to watch out for."

Submitted By: Quotemaven